


Just a shitty potion

by annoyedraccoon



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: College, M/M, Magic AU, also pining and shitty tropes u kno the deal, literally just how dumb college is with the addition of magic, some under 21 drinking
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-06-14
Updated: 2016-06-14
Packaged: 2018-07-14 23:31:09
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,675
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7195661
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/annoyedraccoon/pseuds/annoyedraccoon
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Jean decides enough is enough. He must finally get back at Eren Jaeger. </p><p>What better a prank than an illegal potion that'll make him temporarily fall in love with Jean?</p>
            </blockquote>





	Just a shitty potion

**Author's Note:**

> I will not forgive myself for writing this and neither should you
> 
> anyway yeah cred to paintdripps who posted this magic au prompt: “I slipped you a love potion but what the hell you’re not even acting any different” au, although i got rather carried away with it ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯ sorry if this is garbage my writing might be a little rusty!!
> 
> however thank you for your interest and hope you enjoy
> 
> IMPORTANT!!! there is a short moment of under-the-influence dubious consent, just fyi.

Jean knocked on the door, glancing at Connie.

“You sure they’ll let us do this?” He asked, and his roommate’s face broke into an excited grin.

“Yeah man. This is gonna be _classic_.” Connie assured him, knocking on the door again. Jean caught a whiff alchemic materials coming from the upstairs windows. Fucking academic frat kids, doing actual work instead of partying. They had a damn huge frat house, too. It had white window panes and was painted light blue—the paint was peeling, but what frat house wasn’t. And with the two stories, the balcony, and _size_ of the house, he could only assume it was from the incredible funding and scholarships the damn “gifted” students got. 

Jean would’ve loved to study magic, he really would. He always felt a bit of a connection to the world around him, like maybe he would have succeeded if he’d just the chance to pick up an alchemy book back in middle school. Unfortunately Jean’s parents, in the kindest words, were the most _noble_ followers of the Christian faith. They were positive even in the fucking 21st century that the use of magic was sin and should be completely forbidden by state and humanity. 

Of course, the obvious shit was still illegal. Murder via hex, curses, manipulative potions were all definitely illegal. No, nowadays magic wasn’t used for the whole dubious Salem witch tale. Instead, it was a tool of creation. Magicians would study their field so they could create stronger technology, better hospitals and medicine, trying to create a utopia with the integration of magic in science. 

However, who’s gonna keep these illegal magical substances away from adrenaline junkie college kids? The answer was no one. Which led to why Jean and his roommate had found their way on the biggest magic frat’s porch. 

The whole idea actually started with Connie. He was always the prankster, and he finally took pity on Jean for his failures to get back at Eren. 

Eren was an undecided kid in Jean’s Magic in Eastern Culture class. They’d been at ends with each other since they had an extremely aggressive debate about the class gaps between magic users and average folks. Jean realized later he’d been wrong in the argument, but he’d never admit that. And now Eren had come to embarrassing him, like tripping him in class, or sneaking potions in his energy drinks that make him throw up or start violently hiccupping in the middle of class. He’d never tell on Eren for his mistreating of magic, however. Eren would still win that way.

So Connie Springer, lover of all things stupid and embarrassing, came to his assistance with the ultimate plan. It was risky and Jean was slightly afraid of it, since he had no idea how strong the magic was going to be and messing with the horrific mind of Eren Jaeger can only mean hell for him, but he was excited for how bad it was gonna be.

After a few seconds of shuffling feet behind the door, it opened to a small guy with long blond hair tied back in a sloppy bun.

“Oh, Connie, hi.” He greeted, and he met Jean’s eyes. “So you here for what you texted me about?”

“Yep!” Connie replied with a thumbs up. “You up for it?”

He squinted at the taller man, his eyes bleeding into him like he was figuring out his entire life story with a glance. “I’m assuming you’re Jean?”

A kick of shock came when he heard his name, but then realized Connie must have mentioned him. “Uh, yeah, hey.”

Armin smirked, as if pleased with the response. “All right, come in. I’ve got it ready, I just want to talk to you first.”

So in they went, and Jean was positive he walked into a scene from the Harry Potter franchise. The décor was much more beautiful than Jean would imagine in a frat house, if not sloppy. It looked like they couldn’t decide on a color for the living room so they just went with all of them. Fat college textbooks were tossed about on every surface from the couch to the TV playing reruns of Sabrina the Teenaged Witch—a show that surfaced before magic was outed as a true force in the world rather than mythology.

The living room connected to the kitchen and dining room, where a dark haired girl sat up on the kitchen counter with her nose in a book, monitoring her enchantment on some dishes cleaning themselves in the sink.

Connie’s eyes lit up as they walked by the witch girl. “S-Sasha, hey!”

She grunted a response with a mouthful of corn chips and a wave of her hand.

“She’s got a midterm in Biology today, she hasn’t put that book down for three hours.” Armin explained as he led them up the creaking wooden stairwell. “You wouldn’t believe the bribes she offered me to take the test for her.”

Jean gestured to Armin as they entered an upstairs bedroom, which was apparently a makeshift home lab. “So, uh, how do you guys know each other?”

“English class.” Armin said. “On Mondays I tutor—”

“Okay, so time to get the goods!” Connie interrupted hurriedly. Armin pulled open a drawer in a desk covered with bottles and symbols and lots of sciency-magicy things he didn’t understand, and Jean looked around to reiterate the fact he also didn’t understand anything else in the room. Well, everything save the inspirational poster of a cat dangling from a tree with the words “Hang in there!” above it. Jean wondered which elementary history classroom that was stolen from. 

“Okay here it is.” Armin declared, pulling out a small bottle of reddish pink liquid.

“Wow,” Connie said, taking the vial from the blond. “I can’t believe you actually make this stuff.”

“I only helped with that one.” Armin said with a slight shudder. “I’m not really comfortable with that stuff.”

“So it’s the real deal?” Jean asked, curious. “A temporary love potion?”

“Well, all love potions are temporary.” Armin corrected. “It’s one serving and mixed with your DNA it’ll cause the person with that serving to feel intense attraction to you for about 12 hours before its effect is out of his or her system.”

Connie clutched his stomach with excited laughter. “Oh my _God_ , this is gonna be so good.”

Jean grabbed the bottle from him before he could drop it. “You’re really cool with us using this?”

“As long as you’re not taking advantage of someone’s feelings here.” Armin said. “But Connie said you’re using it on Eren as a joke, right?”

“Oh man, you know Eren too?” Jean said, offering a pity smile. Armin returned it.

“He’s my best friend, actually.” Armin replied, pushing his hair out of his face. “We grew up together. But, I’m sure he had this coming.”

Jean laughed. “Damn right he did. But just making sure...it won’t make him act _weird_ right?”

Armin shrugged. “All depends on how he acts when he’s got a bad crush. If you’re asking if he’s gonna start attacking you in desperation to sleep with you, I doubt it.”

Jean nodded. Luckily, he’d been around Eren enough to know how Eren he acted when he’s into someone. They’d hung out at parties before, and Jean had lost track of how many people he’d managed to get with. It really pissed Jean off, it wasn’t _fair_. Someone like Eren shouldn’t be the one to get any man or woman he wanted. 

But Eren’s crushing usually seemed to be full of half-lidded eyes, shitty jokes and just a small touch of charisma he doesn’t seem to realize he has. Not that Jean’s experienced it, he’s just... Noticed. 

 

Unfortunately, it was looking like Jean would fail to embarrass Eren once again.

The next morning was Friday, and just before 8 am he watched Eren Jaeger stumble tiredly into their Magic in Eastern Culture class. He had his Captain America travel mug in hand and his black baseball cap was practically falling off his head. Jean slid sideways in his seat so he could watch Eren drop his bag and fall into seat behind the blond.

“Rough night, Jaeger?” Jean greeted him as the brunet took a swig of his coffee.

Eren offered him a glare, but only grunted angrily in response. Jean had learned at this point that until Eren had finished his coffee, he reverted to a primitive primate in the linguistics area.

And straight after that, Eren’s head slumped down on his desk and he started snoring. Jean was betting on that to happen since it was fixed into his daily schedule. So he quickly popped the lid off the Marvel themed mug and poured the potion in the caffeinated monstrosity Eren called coffee.

Jean whipped back around and ending up tapping his pencil anxiously.

“Stop doing that.” The muffled sound of Eren’s complaints began after a bit. “It’s annoying.”

“You’re annoying.”

“You’re a child.”

“You are obviously not in the right mind, Jaeger.” Jean turned back around to look at him only to find his head still down on the desk. Jean poked him gently with his pencil and Eren jolted up. “Finish your coffee?”

“Almost.” Eren sighed, picking up the mug and chugging the rest. Jean tried to hide his satisfied grin. 

Except...throughout the rest of class nothing happened. Eren just continued his regular snotty remarks aimed at Jean and ignored him any other time.

When it hit 9:15, Eren collected his things and got out quick like he usually does, but Jean wasn’t satisfied.

“Hey, Eren.” Jean stopped him. Eren immediately turned, with his eyebrows raised. He looked a lot more awake now, his eyes big and bright and his scowl not softened by the warm hand of sleep.

“I uh,” Jean did his best to act normal while not insulting him. “Me and Connie are gonna stop by Braun’s party tonight, wanna come?”

Eren blinked at him blankly, eyes glinting under his cap.

“You’re...inviting me.”

“Kind of?” Now Jean felt dumb, was Armin pulling his sleeve or something about the potion? “Damn, if you’re gonna be a dick about it there’s better people I can hang out with.”

“Geesh, fine, I’ll go.” Eren centered his cap on his hair. “Tell Connie to invite me himself next time.”

And at that, the bastard carried on with his business as usual, leaving Jean stumped. Armin didn’t say anything about late effect, did it really not work?

For the rest of the day, their interactions remained the same. They walked by once and Eren flicked Jean in the ear as he passed (Jean in turn flipped his cap off his head). When Jean sat down with Mikasa The Beautiful at lunch, Eren joined them and took away all of Mikasa’s attention, as always. So after that Jean felt sick to his stomach and walked back to his dorm in defeat.

Connie was sitting on his lofted bed playing Smash Bros on DS when Jean walked in. He was glad to see his cramped room again, his plaid comforter with Legend of Zelda sheets neatly spread over his bed, his desk clean and organized with his macbook still opened up to his psych class paper. He only had about two sentences done, but at least it was in carefully scrutinized MLA format. 

“How was your day, Honey?” Connie said deadpan without moving a muscle. But then he suddenly flipped upright, dropping his DS on accident that Jean thankfully caught. 

“Wait, you did the thing! To Jaeger! How’s it going, is he totally lovestruck?”

Jean tossed his bag on the futon and reached up to return Connie’s game device. “Nah, it didn’t work, he’s still an asshole.”

Connie’s eyes went wide. “What? There’s no way, Armin is _perfect_. He wouldn’t make a faulty potion.”

“He did say he only helped with it.” Jean reminded him, sprawling out on his bed. 

“Yeah but Sasha’s the one he helped, and she’s perfect too.” Connie said, a little too defensively. 

“Ya need to figure out what to do about that crush of yours, man.” Jean suggested before covering his face with a pillow for a well needed nap. He was sure Connie grumbled in response “I’d say the same to you.”, but he pretended he heard nothing. Maybe it’s just a shitty potion, or maybe it’s literally impossible to like Jean. 

God damn, did that sound pathetic.

 

Come nighttime, well passed 8 and the defective love potion was well out of Eren's system, the boys still got together for Reiner Braun’s party. Connie’s a friend of his so he always gets an invite. Eren is beloved by everyone under the sky, so of course he’s in. Jean only gets to go because he’s Connie’s roommate. 

He didn’t really care, though. He wasn’t about the party scene, especially in college. They were way more out of control around magic users. Not only were the lights always changing colors with people magically switching them, but you’d occasionally see a flash of a hex followed by a shocked yelp and some aggressive arguing. It also wasn’t good that if a magic user didn’t like the music they were pretty good at manipulating sound waves and changing the song every god damn second.

It was way too chaotic for Jean’s taste. He goes because it’s what everyone else wants to do, so why wouldn’t he? He and Marco would go to parties back in the day, and that was fine. But nowadays he seems to just go to keep an eye on Connie and Eren. Make sure they don’t get into fights or get lost trying to find food or something. It was a nuisance, but those two seemed to like it well enough. So he managed. Usually.

Eren was flushed away into the crowd the moment they walked up the beer splattered porch. Usually people seem a little afraid of Eren, all with how strange he is and how passionate he is, but that fear goes away when their drunk. People get a little obsessed, wanting to hear about the world according to the wild Eren Jaeger. And he always seems glad to have someone listen. 

He lost Connie only minutes after that. He was friends with a lot of shitty frat guys, was probably going to pledge for next year. Jean hated the thought; knowing he’d lose one of his only college friends after that. Hell, who was he kidding, he wasn’t even friends with Eren. Jean was that fucking kid that only made friends with his roommate because he’s stupid and anxious and dumb.

He often missed his hometown, missed his best friend Marco, who stayed in their town working for his father’s business. Should he text him? Maybe call him. Marco would like that, Jean was confident enough that Marco missed him a little, too. He was too good for his own good.

Jean glanced at the empty red cup in his hand. Fuck, he must be pretty buzzed already if he’s thinking about texting Marco. He never does that.

“Hey, Jean!” He picked his head up at his name soaring over the crowd, to see Eren was waving at him to come over. He stood over by the recliners next to the window lined with color changing Christmas lights. His eyes seemed to glow with each color, even from the distance they were at.

He almost did come over, only to know why the hell he was asking for him, but he saw who he was with. There were a group of girls with Eren, probably all stunned by Eren’s charismatic smile like everyone else is, some clique with a “don’t get separated, don’t go home with any boys” pact, each girl with the same conventional beauty Jean used to stutter over but now didn’t even want to be around without feeling sick. Sick of how they laughed at him before, sick of feeling small under their judgements, sick of not being enough for anyone. 

And shit was he _sick_ of watching Eren using his little doll eyes to get everyone all gross for him. It was dumb, what made him so god damn special? He bet Eren only wanted Jean so he could insult him, make him look dumb in front of even more people. 

So he shook his head at Eren, turning around and going down to the safely lit hall where the indoor weed smokers gathered. One guy offered Jean a blunt not two seconds after standing there, but he turned it down.

He leaned on the wall, watching people laugh and dance in the main room. He wished he wasn’t afraid of being in there, he wished he could make friends and enjoy himself the way Eren and Connie do. But, why would anyone want to talk to—

“Hey.” 

Jean felt a tap on his shoulder and turned to see a guy with dark hair and thick rimmed glasses watching him. He was cute in that put together, probably rocks a tie pretty well, kind of way. 

“You okay?” He asked, and then he held out his cup of jungle juice. “Need another?”

“Yeah I’m...” Jean glanced at the beer and took it. “No. You know, people suck.”

The guy laughed, leaning down to pick up an empty red cup on the ground. “Oh my god, I know right. Wanna talk about it?”

“Eh, not really.” Jean sighed. “I just want to forget it.”

He raised an eyebrow, and shrugged sympathetically. “I feel that man. I’m Zack, by the way.” 

Zack then looked down at his empty cup with concentration, and a moment later it was filled with beer.

“Shit man,” Jean remarked with wide eyes. “You magic users can create stuff, too?!”

“No, no.” Zack smiled. “I transported some from the keg across the room. Just had to think about it and, wala.”

“Nice.” Jean replied, the bitterness that he can’t do any of those parlor tricks creeping back. “What major?”

“Medical magic.”

“Ah.” Jean nodded before his offensive opinion could be stopped. “The basic one.”

“What? Come on.” He pushed Jean playfully. “It’s more than that.”

Jean raised an eyebrow, downing most of his beer as he waited.

“I’m doing it because I wanna help people. Is that so bad?”

Jean shrugged, and continued chatting with this guy. He seemed nice enough, but Jean didn’t feel any connection. And the longer they talked, the sleepier Jean was feeling (he never did take jungle juice well, but who _does_ ) and the more Zack closed the distance between them, sort of trapping Jean between him and the wall. So typical, Jean finally tries to talk to someone at a party and he’s one of those people just trying to find a drunk mistake hook up. But, that was the usual agenda for party goers, hell it was Eren’s agenda...

So when Zack finally pulled himself over Jean and kissed him, Jean didn’t fight it. He tried hard to enjoy it. It was probably only because he was drunk, only because he hadn’t kissed anyone in months and only thought about people he couldn’t get if he tried. He couldn’t get Marco, he couldn’t get Mikasa from math, and he couldn’t get...

The guy started kissing Jean’s neck, his hands wandering down his sides as Jean closed his eyes and tried to picture it being someone else, until he whispered, “You’re so pretty. Got any plans tonight?”

Jean was saved from answering by the sound of familiar voice’s kind words. “Hey fuckface.”

Jean pushed Zack off of him, his heart beating fast despite having Eren sneak up on him plenty of times before. “The fuck dude.”

Eren passed a glance at the glasses guy with such rage it could’ve set him on fire, but turned back to Jean. “Where’s Connie at? I wanna get some pizza.”

Jean furrowed his brows. Was Eren giving him an out? Did he catch on that Jean didn’t want to...? No, Eren didn’t have intuition, he’s...

“Uh, fine whatever.” Jean focused back on Zack, who looked a bit confused. “I’ll see ya.”

And then Jean followed Eren outside into yard, where a corn hole game has long since been abandoned, in place of people getting high, downing potions and couples using the safety of the outdoors to kiss and tug without as many eyes watching.

“Ya know, you’re a dick, ya know that?” Jean slurred, pushing Eren harshly.

“What?” Eren reared back. “I just saved your ass.”

“Oh, from _kissing_ someone?” Jean rolled his eyes and held his hands up dramatically. “Call the _fucking_ police, I can’t make _any_ decisions on my own.”

“Jean, you’re drunk.” 

“So are you!”

Eren balled his fists and growled, “If I was as drunk as you are I would’ve ended up beating that guy’s face in until he puked.”

On one hand, that was pretty understandable; Eren will fight anything from a frat boy to a tree when he’s wasted. But he usually would justify it with something along the line of reason (The tree apparently had thrown a twig at him). So Jean retorted, “Why the hell would you do that?”

For a moment Eren looked like a criminal caught red handed, stumped, but then his eyes darted away for recovery. “I...Hate that guy. He’s an asshole. You shouldn’t hang around him.”

Jean thought it sounded off, since Eren _always_ rants about it if he hates someone, as he has ranted about Jean in that way, but he hadn’t heard anything about this Zack character. Maybe they used to date. Or something. That thought made Jean a little sick.

None of these suspicions seemed to show their faces, however, because Jean’s mind was still a bit fuzzy from the alcohol and he just wanted to be pissed off.

“Well ya know what?” Jean began, crossing his arms. “You’re feelings about him don’t mean shit. Stay out of my business.”

Eren began to deflate, his voice getting quieter with his uncertainty. “You...I thought you didn’t do that sort of thing.”

He doesn’t. “What makes you think you know fucking _anything_ about me?!”

He added with quiet anger, “We aren’t even friends.”

Eren’s eyebrows drew back, his lips parted with shock, his green eyes wide and hurt, but gone too quickly. Too quickly for Jean to catch.

Eren’s face fixed into his regular scowl again. “Right.”

They were silent under the streetlight for a few moments while Eren took out his phone. As he did that, Jean stabled himself against a telephone pole and reached into his pocket for his cigarettes.

“You shouldn’t do that.” Eren said without looking up at him.

“Fuck you.”

Eren shrugged. “Whatever. I just let Connie know we’re out here. You can...go back if you want.”

“For what?” Jean said angrily, although why that made him mad again he wasn’t sure. He stuffed his cigarette between his lips and flicked his lighter over and over, failing miserably to get it to light.

“To go back to...” Eren watched him struggle with the lighter and curse at himself, slightly amused despite the rough tension still hanging in the air. “...Nevermind. Here.”

Eren stepped up to Jean, making him flinch as suddenly a fire was between them, there in the palm of Eren’s hand. He almost dropped his cigarette.

“W-wait, you’re...” Jean stuttered. “You do the magic shit?”

Eren rolled his eyes. “Yes. I do the magic shit.”

Jean cautiously leaned over the flame to light the cigarette, too aware of how close their faces got in that moment. Eren’s skin looked a deep orange in the light, the fire flickering in his eyes. He thought he noticed some faint freckles splashed over his cheeks. He wondered if they were sunspots, or if they had been more prominent in a younger Eren. 

“Then... then why are you undecided?” Jean finally asked, inhaling his cancer stick and basking in the familiar smell.

“Because...I donno.” Eren shrugged his shoulders, dismissing the flame and leaving them almost in darkness. “I don’t know what I want to do.”

Before Jean could contemplate that, he heard from the house, “EREN! JEAN!”

Connie stumbled over to them excitedly, putting an arm around Eren the moment he was in reach. “We getting pizza? I fucking _love_ pizza.”

Eren peeled the drunk guy off of him awkwardly. “Uh, you guys can. I’m gonna head home. I’m feeling a headache coming on.”

Connie tilted his head. “Wan us to walk ya back?”

“Nah, I’m fine.” Eren said, eyeing Jean. “As long as you guys can make it fine.”

Connie laughed and tucked his arm under Jean’s with excited determination. “Jeanny boy and I got it, then. We’ll go jus’ the two of us!”

Jean could never fathom how happy Connie always was when he drank. But it was a good change of pace, since when he looked at Eren he...

“Eren, are you sure you—”

“Aw, do you care or something, asshat?” Eren mocked him with more venom than usual. “We aren’t friends, remember.”

Jean snapped his mouth shut, and Eren turned around. “Have fun, guys.”

“PARTY POPPERR!” Connie called to him in farewell, oblivious of the clear aggression between the other two. 

“It’s supposed to be a pooper.” Jean corrected, but he watched Eren walk down the street into darkness. He didn’t even get what happened, why was Eren so upset?

Why did his stomach hurt so badly because of it?

 

Armin finally shut his textbook he’d been leaning over for what felt like hours. 

He yawned and stretched his arms, hoping maybe the movement would wake him up a bit, but it was to no avail. He looked around his book littered room, only lit by his bright globe lamp he’d had since he was eight, and his alarm clock lectured him in angry blue numbers that it was 1:46 AM. If he wanted to wake up for work in six hours he should probably stop studying.

He trudged down the stairs and into the kitchen, which was much too messy for a house of kids that have magical properties, to see Sasha asleep at the counter with her hand in a bowl of cold boxed mac & cheese.

“Hey, Sasha?” Armin poked her awake and she screamed before noticing what was happening.

“Oh, hi.” She greeted, awkwardly, tiredly. “What time..?”

“A quarter to two. How’d your test go?” Armin asked sincerely, opening the fridge and taking out a carton of orange juice.

Sasha pushed her bangs out of her face. “Well...it happened.”

“That bad, huh?” Armin sympathized, sitting down on the barstool beside her. He poured two glasses of juice for both of them and turned on his phone. He always shut it off during his late night studying; as much as he loved learning he got distracted way too easily.

Sasha chugged down her orange juice with all the grace of a lady and burped. “Did you really give that love potion to those idiot boys?”

Armin chuckled, trying to soothe her concern. “Oh don’t worry, they’re only using it on my friend Eren. Nothing would come of it.”

Sasha still eyed Armin with unease as his phone blew up with texts from Eren. “Is that really much better, Armin? I mean, I’m all about pranking, but...”

“No, you don’t get it.” Armin said. “Literally nothing would. Jean was going to make Eren have a crush on him to ‘embarrass’ him or whatever. But,”

Armin bit back a smile at Eren’s panicked messages: __

_Armin oh my god_

_Jean was fucking KISSING some guy at the party I thought I was gonna vomit_

_He never does that what happened_

_IS THIS GONNA KEP HAPPENING NOW_

_Armin IM DYING he’s suck a dick_

_*such_

_I mean same dif tho he should suck a dick._

_preferably mine_

_But really Armin help_

“The potion won’t have any effect on someone if they already have a crush.”

**Author's Note:**

> fyi I have other ideas for this so it might end up a short series of sorts??? bc who wants to leave it w/out them making up D:
> 
> soo thank you for reading!! and as always sorry about any mistakes and just crap writing ingeneral lol. don't hesitate to comment/question anything!! (im also on tum at serrie-smiles!)


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